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I have entered a pink world – the pens, the stickers, the pins, the T shirts- I actually bought several pink garments over the past year in a burst of frustrated femininity. Looks like I am dressed for every breast-free occasion. I haven’t identified with the pink brigade yet and not sure if I will leap into the breast cancer networks. I feel pretty self contained at this time and well supported. I think I am more inclined to enter into more groups in this community to do exercise and crafty things rather than listen to cancer tales retold. We’ll see. I have arranged to meet a friend this week who has been through the chemo experience – that will be fine and I will have a chat with the breast screen nurse which Mike will come to as well. Not sure whether to wear my pink things in case it looks like I am looking for sympathy. While there is a sadness at the loss of so many things I do not feel in the least sorry for myself. My energy is focused on building a positive future and I am capable of making the most of every day. I did have the vision some time ago, as there is a history of cancer in the family, that as the eldest I might be the sacrificial goat: take it all on myself and go into the desert so none of my siblings would have to bear the load. So may it be.

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About pipsky

A creative, generous 64 year old with a PhD in Performance Studies trying to grow old disgracefully while working like mad in regional Queensland, squeezing the juice out of every day & still trying to find the balance that will maintain the quiet mind that makes her useful to others and nice to live with.

2 responses »

  1. Hi Judy. When I think of you wearing pink I see great exuberance and joy in life, which underlies everything. Pink is also the colour of Higher Love so when you wear it you are being embraced and enfolded in that energy and you are radiating that energy to others. It can be a very healing colour and has the ability to attract compassion and radiate compassion, not sorrow.
    And for a laugh, it’s fun to envision great big grunting footballers tearing around the field in pink jerseys and pink footie boots.

    My husband has a blood cancer and has been through chemo and a stem cell transplant. He didn’t want to go to support groups or talk too much to other people about what was happening for him, or hear other peoples stories, but dealt with it in his own way, with family and friends support, and by reading, watching funny stuff, cricket, tennis, football and Mad Men, The Wire, and Deadwood. Violent, vile language but riveting and often funny. (Not the cricket). Displacement maybe but they kept his mind off “things” and kept him as positive as possible, considering he was flat on his back for nearly a year. You are the one who knows in her heart what is the best way forward each day. Your idea of local activities sounds great. Do you know Di Cannon? She teaches pottery sculpture and is a lot of fun. http://www.goolooart.net/

    love and hugs

    Reply
  2. Christine Turner

    Hi Judy,

    As a fellow traveller on the Breast Cancer path…I revisit much of my own experience while reading your generous and moving Blog.

    Keep strong!

    Love from Chris Turner

    Reply

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