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First chemo

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So glad I wrote the ‘Chemo Script’ early- I need it now. I enter the chemo delivery chair on the Day Centre at Bundaberg Base. It is a big recliner with arm rests and access to all kinds of gadgets. I am armed with my mental and physical  preparation and beads of lapis lazuli twined around my wrist to connect with Inanna in the descent. The oncology team are magnificent. I love them all: relaxed atmosphere, gentle , caring approach, real affection in relation to myself and the two other women either side who are at various stages of their own processes. It is daunting to see the nurse gird up to deliver the saving doses of chemicals, which sit like raspberry cordial in 2 huge syringes. The nurse wears a mask, goggles, a yellow plastic body suit and gloves. I say ‘sock it to me baby!’  She stays with focused pressure on the syringe feeding it mid tube through the diliting salt solution dripping from the suspended bag above into the port embedded in my chest sending it straight through the heart.  I stay with my script – keeping my ehart as light as it can be. The port behaves. There is no burning or other potential problems, no dramas – a smooth delivery. We return home and the afternoon is pretty rugged: I sit in one spot holding my energies together, struggling with nausea and weaknwss, a bucket at the ready – sipping water. Jenny arrives with a beautiful lasagna. Mike is well fed but I can’t come to the table tonight – a dry biscuit is all I can face- will elave my share for tomorrow. I take the maxalon as athe anti nausea drug but wake with pain and swelling in the root of the  tongue and short of breath. I recognise the reaction adn eat and ice block to relieve swelling and take an antihistamine to control it. With excellent support from my local doctor and pharmacist I have the alternative Strematyl delivered by mid morning to my door! Feeling stronger into day 1- 4 different medications in a  regime to manage. Can eat again and will keep light meals 2 hourly to assit. Just when it looked like a relaxing regime could be established Mike comes downstairs and complains of chest pains. He has had them for an hour so we call the ambulance. They consider the signs serious enough to admit him to Bundaberg Base to run a series of tests – looks like he will be there to Saturday and sent to Brisbane next week for an angiogram. Great that he can get a throruogh check up. Crazy timing. Hooray for wonderful neighbours: one friend stays all day to monitor me adnother stayed overnight- I am travgelling well so will do with sopt check from now on and two Brisbane mates are on standby to come and stay for a few days.  (Sorry for the typos ‘wierd and wobbly ‘ best describes my state – will go and rest now love to all Jxxx)


About pipsky

A creative, generous 64 year old with a PhD in Performance Studies trying to grow old disgracefully while working like mad in regional Queensland, squeezing the juice out of every day & still trying to find the balance that will maintain the quiet mind that makes her useful to others and nice to live with.

5 responses »

  1. Glad to see you are still positive, Jude, and your spirit remains undaunted.
    I hope Mike gets a clean bill of health. He worries so much about you.

  2. Big love and positive thoughts coming your way from here Jude, I am happy to be Bris mate number three if I can be any help or support to you at all. Hope big Mike ok too. Love ya, Gillian xx

  3. Oh Jude. I so hope you are traveling OK. It’s kind of like an alchemical process. May Dame Edna polish your aura and may your Endolphins play in the oceans of love around you. I hope all is well with Mike.
    Big hugs

  4. Thinking of you and Mike, Karen xx


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