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10th day

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A drop in energy. I am at my most vulnerable to infection. There is also an inner pebble of emotion that needs to be thrown; a complexity of feeling that must be expressed. I want to kick, punch, head bang. But I am impotent before these options. I come to know that my only leverage on release is vocal. I ask Mike to drive me to the north end of the beach at dusk. The beach there is deserted. The sky is heavy with rainless cloud, silver-gray light seeps through to meet an equally steely ocean. Low, sombre waves tumble incessantly as the sea sucks itself back and back. I stand before the expanse. Puny-me. I call through the octaves slowly, quietly at first letting sound fill me: sweet, ugly, raucous,wild. I build to bellow. I am haunting curlew, lamenting dingo, angry walrus. As my sound-courage grows I find the level of expressive need. A visceral, gravelly roar erupts and amplifies. I growl into the sea, shaking the sound out, jigging and growling. Living the sound wash I clear and clarify. The sea flops at my feet. ‘See if I care’ it says.

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About pipsky

A creative, generous 64 year old with a PhD in Performance Studies trying to grow old disgracefully while working like mad in regional Queensland, squeezing the juice out of every day & still trying to find the balance that will maintain the quiet mind that makes her useful to others and nice to live with.

2 responses »

  1. sky tears falling, wash gently over Judy, lift her spirits, just enough, not greedily…enough to float her spirit on a wisp of air, capture a light shimmer in grey cloud…sustain her for a millisecond, allow a precious calming moment in time………..calling ocean waters, curtain lace floating over sand, wash at Judy’s feet, let this woman feel the beauty and healing energy of our universe……

    Reply
  2. Jude, your writing is brilliant. Inspired and coming from a very real and beautiful place.

    Reply

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