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Down but not out

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Coming up for air from 5th chemo- one more to go! Learning to address new levels of pain in bone and muscle – bodymine can feel very old some days and hears words like ‘osteo arthritis’ coming into its vocabulary! Good news from recent scans – the bones are not metasticising! I am making resolutions about becoming a calcium rich food guru and work out junkie to survive. Asking the Grandmothers and any other energy sources for 20 years of meaningful life yet to come. Good for nothing at the moment just the same – resting,  reading and pottering with meaningless chores about the place – hate the feeling of even a ‘wasted’ hour let alone days at a time without a sense of achieving anything- what a work tragic I am! I have completed a mosaic project and almost through a second and my first patchwork book cover is a day away from its amateur accomplishment… but that is play?

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About pipsky

A creative, generous 64 year old with a PhD in Performance Studies trying to grow old disgracefully while working like mad in regional Queensland, squeezing the juice out of every day & still trying to find the balance that will maintain the quiet mind that makes her useful to others and nice to live with.

3 responses »

  1. Work is but a word ! Keep patch working and Mosaic-ing. You r creating meaning from small things. That make up a whole. From fragments the dream emerges. I send you much love. You are a hero for me.

    Reply
  2. Dear Work Tragic
    That is such good news about your bones. Yay Judy!

    You are “becoming” – That is your work, and “play” is a big part of it. You are a new Being exploring and visioning and learning to express and embody your new, new vocabulary. I can remember you talking about how we were creating a new vocabulary during my Feldy training and I was much too polite to ask what the hell you meant, but now I “get” it. So Jude it’s all very simple – your world has been turned upside down and what’s happening now is ATM on a grand scale. Just think of how kids can be engaged in seemingly meaningless play and yet out of that comes a miracle of a human being.
    Hang in there Jude and give yourself room to move in ways that are more suited to the moment. Meaningless chores can take on a new expression if you do them naked but for a frilly little apron and a feather boa.
    With much love and admiration
    Your multi dimensional work rehab case worker

    Reply
    • love the image- even thinking of the housework sans anything but the apron and the boa is enough to get me through another day! Thanks case worker don’t give up the ase! Jx

      Reply

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